Do One Thing - World Mental Health Day

The theme of World Mental Health Day this year is ‘do one thing’. On seeing this I laughed and felt a bit emotional, as in our house during lockdown and often when the DLAM Team is together, we quote Anna from Frozen 2 “Do the next right thing”. Just one step, just one action is all that's needed to bring about a change that could change your life for the better. 

So today I want to talk about our business and tribe. Looking back at the small steps I took 5 years ago to start this business and what it's like stepping through our doors to class for the first time. 

It's hard to convey the importance and relevance of Mental Health within Dance Like a Mother (and all our classes). Because If there's one thing people don’t see in the pictures and Insta posts enough is the feelings we get to share and witness with all the people who attend our classes. 

5 years ago when this all started, I had no expectations for what it would become. I took a massive leap of faith and to be honest I felt I had no choice but to. Because it came at a time in my life when I had gone through a long period of my mental health not being great. Looking back I can honestly say being pregnant wasn't the experience I had hoped it would be. Yeah screw you Instagram! The stress and loneliness was mostly due to outside factors, which at the time felt out of my control. I was being victimised at work and felt helpless and two of my closest friends slipped away (in varying degrees of drama) as my life moved closer to becoming a Mother. I was no longer Nikki from before and hadn’t yet become the Mother I was going to be. I felt in limbo, lonely and stressed. I realise now these things needed to happen to bring me to where I am today. 

Looking back I think starting the classes was a way of me gaining a part of myself again. I knew I loved to dance and had taught Zumba around my day job. This was always my lifeline. I had also had some experiences of baby classes and mum meet ups and to be honest? I was done with talking about sleep and baby shit. I think in reality I knew there had to be another tribe out there, more like me and I unknowingly was about to create it.

The realities of how the classes were bringing women together and helping with their mental health started to become clear quickly. A totally unexpected part of the classes that I hadn’t anticipated, it often threw me when women would come to me at the end of class and tell me how these classes had brought joy back into their lives, that they had found true friends and how they had a spring in their step because of this time together each week. I would often end up sobbing, either in front of them or after everyone had left. 

I will never forget Helen from Chorlton. She had been recommended the classes from some new Mum friends and I think it had taken some convincing for her to finally make the step and come. At the end of class she just burst into tears. My initial reaction was “shit! What did I say/do!”. But then through the sobbing tears she said “I just feel so happy”. The whole class moved around her and gave her hugs and support (dam you covid!). She and many women since have said how they hadn’t realised how they had let their own needs and joy go and just this time with other women, dancing, laughing and no judgement they had realised how important that was. 

I think one of the reasons the classes have caught on so well is also down to the fact that all our instructors came to class. They felt the same anxieties and worries and so can relate to when someone walks through that door for the first time. In fact most of them became instructors because they didn't want to leave!

Taking your first step to do something new can be daunting at the best of times. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. But over the last few weeks, we have seen women coming into the classes filled with anxiety more than ever. This is totally understandable. Not only due to covid, but the fact most of them haven't met another mum yet. I honestly take my hat off to any new mums right now. 

I want to end this blog with Emma's story, in her own words. I'm actually crying as I write this. Because whenever I see Emma's face (now mostly through Zoom at Dance Fit beaming back at me) I remember that first day she came to Dance Like a Mother and how that one choice changed her. I’m so proud of her and to have met her and proud that this tribe we have created had a part to play in her overcoming her own mental health challenges. 

Emma’s story

I turned up scared and nervous with a 6 Month old in tow. Not sure what to expect but I knew I loved Dancing!

I opened the door, looked, turned and walked away. My nerves got the better of me. So many people in one place I couldn't handle or cope with it. 

Now fast forward 3+ Years and my life has changed and my outlook is different now.

I feel since that first day I have grown so much as a person and I owe part of that to the Wonderful, Lovely, Caring, Fun and ever so Considerate person, that is NIKKI!!! She made me feel so confident in myself. From having little chats/talks before each DLAM class to just having fun/laugh throughout.

I have done stuff totally out of my comfort zone, like performing in front of audiences at Live Events. To now becoming a total Keep Fit enthusiast and participating in every DLAM Dance Fit Class there is. Supporting DLAM like it supported me.

Obviously with Covid now influencing and affecting what we can/can't do there are days I feel down/stressed/worried but that's normal.

So when I'm having a 'Down Day' I do what makes me happy and brings me joy. And that's DANCING/KEEP FIT. Or if Nikki is hosting a class then I'm in. As there's guaranteed to be lots of laughs/fun and tiny walls.

Sometimes in life you have to take the plunge and try new things. And I'm so glad I did. I went back after that first day of walking away and had the best time! It was the best source of medicine that I needed and it came at the perfect time.

I'm forever grateful to Nikki & all the DLAM family for letting me be a part of their family ♡

The Letters of Light Project

We are also supporting one of our new mums, Nicola, with her fundraising for The Letters of Light Project. The Project is aimed at sharing our stories of Maternal Mental Health and breaking down the stigma by writing letters about our own Mental Health  and sharing with other Mums during difficult times. To read Nicola’s letter find out more about the project click here.