Top 5 tips for Baby's First Christmas
Its baby’s first Christmas
Our top 5 tips for baby’s first Christmas
It's baby’s first Christmas. You have spent hours scrolling through Stacey Solomon’s Instagram for inspiration, only to realize your door won’t fit a 4 foot handmade wreath and the baby and dog are unlikely to sit still long enough in their matching jumpers for that perfect photo.
Plus.. social life. What social life? Gone are the days of dancing on the bar top in your glitter dress and drinking prosecco until 2am. Baby is here and you can’t see when you will get your social life back.
Baby’s first Christmas is sold to us as this magical time (and sometimes it is!). But in the midst of all this, what about you? Christmas can also be a tough time for lots of reasons. Maybe not having relationships with family members, living far away from your loved ones, feeling left out of your usual Christmas festivities or god forbid. Everyone gets covid. Again!
So here's our top 5 tips for getting the most out of baby’s first Christmas.
Sam’s first Christmas morning
1. Let go of perfectionism
I've lost count of how many hours I've lost to Pinterest searching “Magical Family Christmas ideas”, when I should have been putting the laundry away. Who am I kidding? It will still be there in 2 weeks time. The reality is your baby won’t remember this, this time is for you. It's your first Christmas as a Mum/Parents.
I’ll be honest having a 7 year old I barely remember much of last week, let alone her first Christmas. The older she's got the more magical it's felt, having her be excited by it all. We can’t live in the past or predict the future, we only have the present (Christmas pun for you there!).
Having ideas of what you think it “should” look like needs to go out the window. Being present and just enjoying this time is really all that matters. Take all the photos and videos of them in their christmas pudding hats (mainly to use as bribery when they are 18), but don’t get hung up on the house being perfect, the tree being decorated a certain way (in fact scrap that, because by age 2 your little one will want to get involved and it will literally look like a toddler dressed the tree…so let go of perfectionism now)
Clover in her Christmas outfit
2. What Routine?
During the week you have your routine. You go to some classes, go for walks and fingers crossed baby has some naps. You might even have a bit of a routine down where baby naps at certain times. You know what needs to be done each day and have the nappy bag ready to go. Then the holidays hit and all of a sudden the classes are no longer on, your Mum friends are busy, your non Mum friends are all out getting pissed and your Partner hasn’t even had one thought about presents or what you will do together in your “time off”.
Breathe. Let the routines go. If you truly want a stress free Christmas there needs to be no expectations of what the days will fully look like. And this is coming from a recovering control freak (I have to work at this shit!). Also please remember this is your Partner's first Christmas as a Parent too. They might not pack the nappy bag the way you like or load the dishwasher exactly how it “should be” stacked, but let that shit go. Which leads me onto tip 3…
Wrapping Ellie like the gift she is (Hygge Wrap by Ali Dover) Woven Wraps - Hygge / alidover
3. Ask for what you need
Stu & I have been together 20 years next year and married for 10. Yes it's a fucking long time! We have had many ups and downs but the main thing that's helped us build a happy relationship and co-parent is communication (and shit loads of Therapy too, to be honest!). But the less we vocalize how we feel, our expectations and what we need the harder parenting is, the more stressed we are and the harder life in general is.
So I'd recommend sitting down alone (If you can!) start by closing your eyes, taking some slow deep breaths (In for a count of 4 through the nose, hold the breath, then breath out through the mouth for a count of 6). Do this about 6 times and really connect with your body. Then with a pen and paper and ask yourself these questions.
What do I need to feel mentally okay over the Christmas period?
What are the expectations that I have for Christmas that I’m not willing to let go of (and why?) and what expectations can I let go of?
When I’m feeling not okay, what will help me? And who can I ask for help?
Now write down the answers. Don’t overthink it, just write what comes into your head. Even if it doesn't make a lot of sense.
Now I’m going to suggest something radical. You are going to sit down (at a time when you are both feeling as relaxed as you can be) and you are going to ask for what you need. You are also going to ask If there is anything your Partner needs (hell why not get them to do the questions too!). Know that you love each other and write down what you will do to support each other over the next few weeks.
If you are a single parent, think about those who can help you and do the same. It's okay to ask for help, it's okay to ask for what you need and it's okay if they don’t do things exactly as you would do it.
Take time out for you. Scatter the time with little moments where you can have some alone time, get your hair done or go meet friends. Prioritize time for you.
The Dance Like a Mother Mums on a night out
4. Create new fun social time
Every year a big group of us get together around Christmas time. It generally involves the pub, lots of food, lots of booze and some singing and dancing (often on tables) into the night. The first year I was pregnant I had only just found out, literally 2 days before and after we had had a miscarriage just a few months before, we were nervous of going out or telling anyone. So I spent the night in cohorts with the bar staff, to give me lemonade in a champagne glass. Everyone was so pissed they didn't even notice. But a year later I'm sober, trying to breastfeed my baby while chaos ensues around me. Not ideal. The reality is we have all pretty much had kids since then, so organizing anything takes months of planning.
So why do we put ourselves through this? The time will come where you can don the sparkly dress again and dance on tables, but right now what do you really need? Social time just looks a bit different. So here's some ideas for the new norm when it comes to social life with your baby.
Drinking while Breastfeeding
Drinking while breastfeeding…lets start there. Here’s some advice from our friends at BoobsSalford Home - Breastfeeding in Salford
“Current studies show that moderate alcohol consumption is not considered to be harmful to breastfed babies.
Alcohol leaves your breastmilk at the same rate it leaves your blood, it is not “trapped” in your breasts so you do not need to pump and dump. Equally, pumping will not remove alcohol from your breast milk if there is still alcohol in your blood, therefore pumping and dumping really is a waste of time and milk in this case!
Please do note though that we mean moderate alcohol intake, within NHS guidelines, and if you have had any alcohol you should not bed-share or co sleep with your baby.
A glass of wine at your work’s Christmas do, a glass of fizz with christmas dinner or on NYE is OK so enjoy this festive season and raise a glass to yourself too, to celebrate your breastfeeding journey so far!”
Do you need to say yes?
Don’t feel like you have to say yes. Or only stay as long as you feel comfortable. Again maybe communicate with your Partner, Friends, Family how you feel before the event. Be honest about what you need. We have a secret signal for when one of us is ready to leave. We have (after many years of arguments and discussions) realized it's just better when we leave together. Because let's face it, parenting with a hangover sucks. Also be aware if your Partner or friends are staying longer that you won't miss out forever.
Plan fun things to do
Plan some fun stuff to do. Sit down with your Partner, Family and plan some nice things to do. That way you get a bit of structure and things to look forward to. It doesn't have to cost money either. It could be a walk in the park and a coffee. Schedule some fun stuff.
Meet new Mum Friends & get involved with Christmas classes
Enjoy time with your baby baby and new Mum friends. Lots of classes, like ours, do Christmas special weeks. We are even going for lunch after classes with everyone this week. It's a nice chance to get to know other Mums in your area and just chat and have a laugh for a while. Also over Christmas you may find some of your Mum friends are at a bit of a loss too. So ask. Maybe a walk to the park, a trip somewhere or a visit to the pub one day over Christmas and New Year would be nice.
Lunch together with babies
5. Finally…Nothing lasts forever. Good or bad.
It's hard when you feel like you are missing out. But it wont last forever and these little munchkins don’t stay small forever. One Christmas to come they won’t want to be with you. Yes that hurts my heart too. So make the most of this time and savor every moment. But most of all, remember to take care of yourself. Because not only do you matter, but your baby, Partner and family will be better off if you are talking care of yourself too.
Happy Christmas from
Nikki, Charlie, Esther & Emma xxx